We spend so much energy trying to seem fine that we forget to actually be fine
It's 1:47am and I can't sleep. I've been thinking about how much effort I put into performing okayness. Someone asks how I am. "Good, busy but good." Not because I'm good. Because it's easier than explaining. And the wild thing is everyone around me is probably doing the same thing. We're all performing fine at each other while quietly not being fine. I don't have a solution. I just think we should maybe ask each other how we actually are sometimes. And actually answer.
The version of yourself you're embarrassed about from 5 years ago was doing their best
I was going through old messages tonight. From 2019. The things I said, the opinions I had — some of it made me cringe so hard I put my phone face down. But that person was 22, figuring it out, working with the information and emotional capacity they had at the time. We're so quick to be retrospectively ashamed of old selves. But shame doesn't retroactively give that version of you the knowledge you have now. You grew. That's the whole point. Be a little gentler to your past self. They got you here.